Safety in Peanut Butter

Started dieting yesterday. There's almost 100 days until the wedding which is essentially like three months. and three months seems like a good amount of time for me to lose ten pounds and get over the bitchy attitude that calorie counting always gives me in order for me to fully enjoy the way I will look in a yellow silk dress with a sash around my waist. 

Day one was a failure....day two started out promising but ended up with a teaspoon of peanut butter at 11 pm directly from the peanut butter jar. My almost midnight forray into the pantry did reap one benefit though...it somehow reminded me that I hadn't set my security alarm tonight. Peanut butter...security alarm. I definitely see the correlation, but considering I somehow managed to forget to close my garage door last night I'll take the subconscious reminders wherever I can get them...even from the bottom of the peanut butter jar.

Light Switches and OCD

Let me preface this by saying - yes I am weird. I know this.

I have two sets of light switches in my new house. One set, in the kitchen, turns on the kitchen lights and the living room lights. The second set, in my hallway, turns on the living room lights and the hall light. Because both sets turn on/off the living room lights it's easy for the light switches to start looking like this:

I know...gasp right? But they can't look like that though. They have to look like this:

If they look like that first picture, I can't sleep at night. It makes me insane. I guess there's a little bit of OCD in all of us...

A Summer Dream Vacation

Who knows when I'm going to get to go on a substantial vacation (as in not to visit relatives or to the family house in SC)? Not that there has been a lack of opportunity...merging with Monica and Sweet Emotion has taken care of that pesky little who will watch the boutique when I'm gone question. No...not a lack of opportunity...more like a lack of funds. Typical. Therefore I'm planning what my dream vacation would look like, at least for this summer, if I were so fortunate to get to go on one....

Europe of course.

London

London Bridge, Big Ben, Harrods, and the Harry Potter bus ;)

The English Countryside

The Country (in general), The Stonehenge, Canterbury, Cambridge

Paris

Eiffel Tower, the Arc de Triomphe, The Louvre, Moulin Rouge, Notre Dame, The Panthéon

The French Countryside

The French Riviera, Normandy, Versailles, Provence

Rome

The Vatican, The Colosseum, St. Peter's, Sistine Chapel

The rest of Italy

The French Riviera, Tuscany, Venice, The Leaning Tower of Pisa

I think this is a pretty good start don't you??

Ghosts of Fake Boyfriends Past

The New Kids on the Block and The Backstreet Boys...all on one stage?! My seven year old self and my seventeen year old self just turned towards each other, clutched hands, and started jumping up and down screaming. This is like having like a dream come true that I never even knew I had....

Sleepless nights and Father's Day Pictures

My mom picks me up for our Monday morning breakfast date this morning and, we're barely out of the driveway before she says that she woke up this morning at 2am and couldn't fall back asleep. I'm thinking she's going to tell me that something she ate at Father's Day dinner didn't sit well or something. 

But no....

She goes on to tell me that at 2:00 this morning, she suddenly realized that, while she got Father's Day pictures of my brother and my father, my brother, my father, and my nephew, and my brother, his fiancee and my nephew, she failed to get a picture of my father, my brother, and myself or myself and my father. So being a good daughter and thinking that she feels bad because she made me feel neglected or something, I promptly reassure her that I didn't even notice (which I didn't) and that it really isn't that big of a deal. Turns out she wasn't really worried about my feelings....she turns to me and says....But your hair looked so good!

Thanks Mom. I guess from that statement alone, I can assume that on any normal day, my hair doesn't look good, and therefore it's noteworthy when I do show up somewhere with presentable hair. Fine. Ok. Here's the deal....I promise that one day next weekend I'll force myself out of the depths of my normally sloppy hair style and make it look good again for your fake Father's Day pictures...Now go to sleep like a good little mommy....

Happy Fathers Day 2010

To the man that played "My Girl" by The Temptations on the car radio at the beach when I was five and declared it our song.  Who lectured me when I was seven to never drink and drive and that if I ever needed him  to, he would come pick me up, no questions asked. Who told me when I was eight to never bring home a guy with a multi-colored mohawk  or he would be forced to chase him out of the house with his 2 iron. Who taught my the value of a firm handshake. Who told me I could be anything I wanted to be and stands firmly behind me as I chase my dreams....

To my favorite daddy in the whole wide world - and I know a lot of daddies in this world - Happy Father's Day.

My Epiphany - Bucket Lists, Balls and Chains, and Babies

Every time I go to the book store it's inevitable that I end up in the self help section. More often than not, I walk away without picking up anything and today was no exception, but there was a book title that caught my eye -

No Regrets: 101 Fabulous Things to Do Before You're Too Old, Married, or Pregnant 

by Sarah Ivens

My initial reaction was - I have got to have this book - but after a quick flip through, I realized that, out of the 101 things Ivens recommends to do (Ditch Toxic Friends, Buy Sexy Underwear, Get Lash Extensions) the majority were either common sense, I've already done, or I really have zero desire to do. But, the title and subject of the book got me thinking in two different directions....

First - I need a "Bucket List" of things I want to do or see. Completing it doesn't matter, it's having goals and dreams organized in one central place that counts.

Second - is more of a light bulb moment that the title of this book helped turn on. Contrary to popular social norms, contrary to what I should do or should want, I am in absolutely no hurry to go off and get married or have children. Sure, it would be nice to be in a nice, stable, healthy relationship. And sure, one day I do want to be married and to have children but why on earth do I want to hurry that? Right now, without all that, I'm free. Free to do what I want, spend what I want, go where I want....I spent two hours in Borders today just wandering around....think I could do that with a child under the age of like 12? Hell no. Mommy I'm bored. Mommy I have to pee. Mommy I'm thirsty. Yeah...no thanks. Frankly, I'm way too selfish in this stage of my life and you know what? I think that's perfectly ok. I'm better off realizing that now than going off, marrying some guy out of hand because OH MY GOD I'M ALMOST 30!! Getting all preggers a few times and then realizing that I want my old life back. That's why people get divorced and kids end up in juvie.

So sure...marriage...fantastic idea...but don't plan on seeing any Save the Dates in the mail from me any time soon. I got a Bucket List to write and at least 50 adventures to go on before I saddle myself with the old ball and chain and a few car seats....sorry Grandma.

A Dog of a Problem....

I wrote a blog here about how I've been on a quest to meet more people and make more friends and that one way I was doing that was by starting a few meet up groups. One of those meet ups - the South Tampa Small Dogs meet up has its first meeting this Saturday. Does anyone else see anything wrong with this??

I HAVE NO DOG THIS WEEKEND!!! This might be a problem....

Chloe's Countdown Clock

 Of course we have to have a little countdown clock to countdown the number of days until my puppy is supposed to come home! I say "supposed to" because , even though Clarke assured me he could train her in 14 days, he doesn't know my stubborn and opinionated puppy like I do....she might still be there at Christmas time, no closer to sitting on command, if we're not careful...  

 I will admit though...I woke up this morning at 9 (my normal Chloe wake up call comes around 6:30am each day) and thought to myself....huh....so THIS was what my life was like before I got a puppy...I'd forgotten how wonderful it was to sleep in and wake up when I wanted to wake up. Maybe if all goes well I can get Clarke to train Chloe to walk herself in the morning...that would be glorious...

Comfort Shopping

Dropped Chloe off around 2:30 today at Doggie Summer Camp.

Got into the car and sobbed uncontrollably.

Then drove to the cheap shoe store and the grocery store, drowned my sorrows with an $8 pair of shoes and a pile of junk food.

If I'm like this dropping my dog off for two weeks, how on earth will I manage to one day drop my unborn children off at college?? Good news is I have at LEAST 20 years to figure that one out....

Shipping Chloe Off...

Tonight is Chloe and my last night together for at least two weeks.

Tomorrow afternoon I drop her off at what could be considered one of three things - the doggie spa, doggie boot camp, or doggie summer camp. Although, truth be told - it's probably not the spa...there will be no manicures or massages. Boot camp is probably too harsh of terminology since she won't be yelled at. So doggie summer camp is actually probably the most accurate of the three - every now and then she'll be forced to do something she doesn't want to do..like arts and crafts or campfire sing-a-longs, but for the most part, the good will far outweigh the bad.

I am going to miss her warm little body snuggled up next to me...but hopefully at the end of the two weeks, we will both have learned to listen and obey when necessary....although I'm not holding out much hope for myself when it comes to obeying....

Bye bye pup pup...don't forget to write your mama every now and then!

The Flower Lamp

Tuesday Mornings. No...I'm not talking about the actual day, I'm talking about the discount home goods store. My mom tells me that in other parts of the country, it's actually a nice little place to shop. In south Tampa it's in the ghetto plaza and smells like a weeks worth of wet laundry that has been marinating in your washing machine the minute you walk in their front door. I will give them this though...they have some great stuff at great prices. I went yesterday to look for a area rug to match my new futon cover and got distracted by this lamp...

It was love at first sight. It was also $100.  I literally walked around the store for 20 minutes with it in my hand trying to justify spending 100 bucks on a table lamp. Ultimately, I just couldn't do it. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't justify paying that much for a lamp that really didn't go with anything I currently own. But you can bet your last dollar that if I could have come up with even the flimsiest of excuses that little baby would be mine all mine right now....

Bye Bye Ugly Futon

It's amazing what a difference a big square of fabric makes!

Before:

After:

If nothing else it covers up the massive amounts of cat fur that was embedded into the brown cover. Fur problems solved!

The newest addition to my little family...

Frances B. Mulchmuncher. 

Staunchly guarding my little garden.

All the signs are here....

Hotter than hell? Check.

Afternoon thunder storms? Check.

Blue icee tongue? Check Check.

Yup...it's summer.

To be or not to be Average...that is the question

A girlfriend, who shall remain nameless, walked into the boutique today and says to me:

"I was at the gym today, Jen, and I came to the realization that I'm just average. Average height, average weight, I drive an average car. There's nothing spectacular about me. I'm just average." 

After I stopped laughing, because only this particular person would be on a bike, at the gym, worrying about being average, I told her that she wasn't average...she was just regular, old, middle class American with an American made car, a little house, a dog, and a husband. Doesn't get any more apple pie than that.

She wasn't satisfied with that answer...I'm sure it made her seem even more average, so of course this conversation continued on for a good 5 minutes more and right before we ended it, she says,

"You know...it would be different if I was stupid, then I wouldn't be aware that I was only average."

I'm hoping she doesn't think that being stupid is preferable to being average....

My Third Cat...

I am currently locked in a head to head, no holds barred battle with cat fur in my house. This is the canister of my vacuum from just yesterday and today:

Lovely huh? The best part....? As I'm vacuuming my living room in my underwear (don't laugh..you know you do it too), with my blinds open, the cute little old man that lives next door is right outside my window doing his nightly hose watering of his grass.....wonderful.